1) I am full of theories.
2) I enjoy writing about my crazy ideas.
3) I am over a decade older than all of the people in my class...what are they going to do...disagree with me? Seriously!?!
So I type my Personal Theory paper without much trouble, printed it off, stuck it in my folder and I am ready to go. As I walk into class and notice the "kids" papers, I panic! It has been soooo effing long since I have written a paper that I forgot what a paper, that I am supposed to hand in for a grade, should look like. Really, I didn't even have my name typed on the paper. It was in "blog" format...short little paragraphs, single spaced. Jesus BlogWriting Christ, I am an idiot!
I carefully and legibly write my name on the top of my paper along with the class name and the title of my paper...Yeah...I forgot the title. Apparently, if I don't have a box at the top of the screen that says "Title:", I forget that I need one.
My professor enjoyed my paper a lot (although, he hadn't seen it), but I'm not so sure the "kids" felt the same way. You'll know why after reading my Personal Theory. Enjoy!
My Advice to Future Parents
I have a personal theory about parenting. I believe that if parents baby, dumb things down or rescue their children, they are doing them, and anyone that has to deal with them, a huge disservice.
One of the worst things parents can do to their children is to never let them struggle. Of course, I am not talking about abandoning your baby or traumatizing your toddler. I am referring to age appropriate expectations given with a loving, kind and positive approach.
In my experience, children learn much like adults do. By making mistakes. At all ages children, should be given opportunities to try new and challenging tasks. At the same time, they should also be given the chance to crash a bit. Minor accomplishments such as sleeping alone or using a spoon can be the beginning of a lifelong ability to figure things out. So what if the baby cries for a few minutes or more peas end up on the floor than in their mouth?
Allowing your baby these tiny setbacks will most likely result in a confident and self-reliant child. A child with the ability to accept failure a time or two without damaging his poor, over-coddled psyche. A child that will be able to lose a race, blow their own nose, and not start whining the second things aren’t going their way. A child that people enjoy being around and interacting with.
I think that a parent’s job is to raise their offspring to be kind, empathic adults that are able to thrive in our fickle world. Most normal adults have had all the minor (and some major) mishaps that you could have in the first couple decades of life. No, parent should allow their child to reach the age of 18 without hearing things like..."Ouch! That looked like it hurt!, Maybe you should’ve studied!, Are you hungry? I noticed you forgot your lunch box on the counter today., or I don’t care if you don’t like it...just DO IT!"
Parents who coddle and hover over their children would rather raise smiling, carefree grown-ups as opposed to self-assured, well equipped young adults. These parents have taken the easy way out and sadly, their children are going to pay for it. It sucks to be the parent that watches your child fall of her bike again & again or that makes her son put his own clothes away.
Instead of standing over them, I’d rather stand behind them during the hard times. I want to be able to encourage and guide them as they come across tough situations. I also want to be the person to praise them when they’ve used their resources to conquer these battles, or to encourage and guide again if the first attempt didn’t pan out the way it should have.
Phrases like “failure is not an option” should be left to scientists at NASA or brain surgeons. I believe if parents want their bouncing baby to become a competent child, who will grow to be a tolerable teen before becoming an anchored adult...failure is the ONLY option.
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