I love what getting older does for people. Aging gives most people self-awareness, and self-awareness is a good thing! Age uncovers the parts of yourself that are real and should be tightly embraced. While at the same time it highlights the parts that don't feel right anymore and encourages being true to who you really are.
In the last few years, I've done that a lot. I've come to love parts of who I am, and I've let go of some of the shit. Shit, I thought was real. Leftover shit from my parents, teachers, or from my own insecurities. Wherever it came from, it was keeping me from doing what deep down I really wanted to do.
Going to school, for example, is one of those things. For years, I used bad-timing and lack of money as excuses for not going back, but at the core of it, I just didn't think I could handle it. I wasn't smart enough. I wasn't college material.
I was aware of my gifts...swearing, making people laugh, nursing babies, eating chips, making lasting friendships, driving well over the posted speed limit, and did I mention swearing, but I was not a smart person. That's my brother Eric's gift. He is college material. He has the ability to learn and figure things out...not me...I'm just funny.
For 32 years, that's what I believed.
Before I go any further, I need to make this clear...Eric's really smart, and I'm in no way comparing my IQ (or whatever) to his. He is gifted, and although he can't beat my swear-words per minute record, he has amazing abilities!
The point is as I get older, I'm amazed at how often I realize how completely different I am, as opposed to who I thought I was. Age & experience help me recognize when I'm clinging to the familiar old story instead of seeing what is actually there.
A capable person........who can eat lots of Doritos..........while driving really fast.
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